(Personal - likely to not be applicable to your own life)
Two hypotheticals:
A good friend dies in a car accident, the driver swerved because of another car and didn't see him; he is remorseful. It was an accident. Now I would be absolutely shattered... but I wouldn't be angry at the driver. How could I? The result hurt, not the intention.
New situation: a good friend spreads vicious rumours about you. Luckily, your friends dismiss them, tell you, and tell the liar what's up. Your friend had intended to hurt you. It was deliberate. Now, I wouldn't not be irritated with that "good friend". I'd be off the walls pissed. But the result? Wouldn't care a single cent. The status quo is maintained, minus one "friend" in wolf's clothing. The intention hurt, not the result.
So I'm not hurt by what you've done. I'm hurt by why you did it.
But it's understandable, perhaps. I guess what I did unforgivable was unforgivable, despite it being against my best intentions. I never meant to hurt you, and you know it. (I was on my knees apologizing, simply because our values clash.) But you meant for it to hurt... back then when it happened, and now when I spend my days trying to move on.
I thought it would be easy, to move on. But now's it's twice as hard: alternating between caring, and being irritated that I care.
Two hypotheticals:
A good friend dies in a car accident, the driver swerved because of another car and didn't see him; he is remorseful. It was an accident. Now I would be absolutely shattered... but I wouldn't be angry at the driver. How could I? The result hurt, not the intention.
New situation: a good friend spreads vicious rumours about you. Luckily, your friends dismiss them, tell you, and tell the liar what's up. Your friend had intended to hurt you. It was deliberate. Now, I wouldn't not be irritated with that "good friend". I'd be off the walls pissed. But the result? Wouldn't care a single cent. The status quo is maintained, minus one "friend" in wolf's clothing. The intention hurt, not the result.
So I'm not hurt by what you've done. I'm hurt by why you did it.
But it's understandable, perhaps. I guess what I did unforgivable was unforgivable, despite it being against my best intentions. I never meant to hurt you, and you know it. (I was on my knees apologizing, simply because our values clash.) But you meant for it to hurt... back then when it happened, and now when I spend my days trying to move on.
I thought it would be easy, to move on. But now's it's twice as hard: alternating between caring, and being irritated that I care.
No comments:
Post a Comment