Thursday, October 23, 2014

Singlish

Have you lived in Singapore for years but still don't understand what a Singaporean means when he goes full Singlish on you? Are you that guy in your circle of friends who never served NS and so laughs at the wrong time whenever your friends recount army stories? Are you the sort of person taxi drivers will drive around in circles because they know they can get away with it?

Then this may be for you!



Speak Singlish in 2 minutes!


Notice how real Singaporeans use "lah", "leh", "lor", and "meh" all the time, but when you try to use it, you just get blank stares? Well here's how to actually use them:

Come with us lor (interrogative)
Come with us la! (forceful)
Come with us lehhhh  (persuading)
You not coming meh? (assuming a 'no')



Hawker centre uncles and aunties still don't understand you? Use a word from below:



Daniel's Basic Singlish Lexicon

(Disclaimer: no results guaranteed. Most likely your Singaporean friends will just laugh at you when you try to put your Singlish hat on. Credits to Prof. Shi Rong for his local expertise!)

* denotes a favourite of mine


ah beng/ah lian - gangster guy/girl
      You try to look like ah beng is it?

alamak - [expression similar to "OMG"]
     Alamak, this char kway teow damn ex!

*angkat - suck up [comes from "angkat bola" meaning lift (somebody's) balls]
       Aiyoh, no need to angkat.

ang mo - [lit.] red haired, foreigner
       This place really got a lot of ang mo ah.

arrow - to delegate [often a troublesome] task
      Aiyoh, I kena arrow guard duty lagi!

basket - idiot, no brain [sim. to mangkok]
      Don't be a basket one. 

belanja - go shopping, [more often] to pay for somebody else
     If I go out, you belanja me ah?

blanket party (OBJECT party) -  hazing involving blanket/object [Kiwi polish is common]
     Later I give you blanket party, want onnot?

blur -  unaware, careless, clumsy
     Don't choose that guy bro, he blur like sotong.

bo bian - no choice, nothing to do
     Kena guard duty lagi? Bo bian.

bo jio - do/did not invite
      Eh bro you never say got so many chio bu, bo jio dude!

cannot make it - possessing an insufficient quantity of a certain quality [often looks]
     Walao his girlfriend damn ugly one! Confirm cannot make it.

chao keng - malinger, take unneeded leave to avoid work
     Wow you going to chao keng until ORD isit?

*chim - deep in meaning
     Wow that IG caption sibei chim.

chio - cute
      That girl damn chio.

chop - reserve a place [often in a queue]
      You blind onnot? Cannot see I already chop place?! 

confirm - extremely sure
      You sure you buy the eggs or not? Double confirm plus chop?

cry mother cry father - phrase meaning complain a lot/loudly
     You lose $5 already go cry mother cry father isit?

die die -  "die trying", indicating extreme desire/urgency/need
     You die die need to buy isit?

garang -  fierce, powerful
     That John damn garang one.

goondu - idiot
     That John real goondu one.

heng - lucky
     You damn heng... never kena caught just now!
     Heng ah, very lucky never kena caught.

kancheong - [verb/adjective] rushing that results in unsatisfactory results
      Don't be so kancheong one.
      Walao sekali kancheong liddat, then thing spoiled, then how?

kena - [word indicating passive mood]
     You kena caught again meh?

kiasu - [lit.] afraid of losing out
      He so kiasu, he start queueing 3 hour before the shop open.

lagi - again, still
     Alamak, raining lagi.

lehchey - hassle, "can't be bothered"
      Walao, kena guard duty again? Damn lehchey. 

jialat - extremely difficult/arduous
     This morning training damn jialat, I cannot tahan.

kepo - (to be) nosy
      Eh, don't be so kepo one.

lobang - [lit.] hole, somebody who can get things done
     You know any lobang can get me new iPhone?
     Aiyoh, my bag got lobang.

*mangkok - [lit.] bowl, idiot
      Walao eh, can sotp being such a mangkok onnot?

pang sai - take a number two/defecate
      Wait 5 minutes, I need to pang sai. 

pai seh -  shy
     Why your friend so paiseh ah?

rabak - [if something is really jialat, it's rabak] "GG"
      Single 2 years already? Wah, rabak.

sabotage (sabo) - getting somebody else in trouble
     Walan, you really sabo king one. 

saman - a summons [usually in regards to a traffic offence]
      Aiyoh, damn troublesome, I kena saman again. 

sai kang - [lit.] shit work, menial labour
      PES C, then kena sai kang job ah? Walao eh, rabak. Bo bian. Only can suck thumb.

sekali - [lit.] one time/once, then, what happens if
     You go out, then sekali, your boss finds out, then how?
     Sekali we driving ECP and this Bangla sotong run out from nowhere.

*shake leg - do nothing
    Whole weekend I stand by do nothing, just shake leg.

shiok - [in regards to food] tasty, strong feeling of pleasure
     This food damn shiok.
     This massage damn shiok.

sibei -  very, extremely
     OCS sibei jialat meh?

steady - [an encouraging compliment], [exhortation to calm down]
      Wow dating 3 years already? Steady!
      Steady bro, no need to fight la.

*steng -  [share] half, half-half
     Hey, hey, bro, can steng onnot?

*step - arrogant
      Wah, this teacher very step one ah.

suay - adj. meaning calamity/catastrophe
      Walan eh, your luck damn suay: same week lose girlfriend and phone.

suck thumb - get over it
     What to do? Just suck thumb lah.

swee - something done properly/correctly, beautiful
      Wah, you cook damn swee.
      Alamak, his girlfriend damn swee.

tahan - withstand, cope with
      Today sibei hot, I cannot tahan, can turn on AC meh?

*talk cock - joke around
      Yesterday nothing to do, we all just talk cock sing song one.

tekan - heavy punishment [esp. physical]
     Walao, this morning we already kena tekan.

*politics - internal conflict [esp. regarding promotion, etc.]
     Don't work there ah bro, that place lot of politics one.

wayang - act, pretend [to look good]
     Wow here got one wayang king ah. Confirm later he kena blanket party!

where got time - "Who in the world has time/money to do that?" [often in the context of POP/ORD]
     You want me to donate charity? Where got time bro.

your head - [a mild curse]
      Finish my homework by dinner? Your head ah.





******* WARNING: EXPLICIT ******* 

Of course, you aren't a true local, unless you can swear like one. So here are some of the most common vulgarities used in Singapore. 


buto - dickhead
cheebai - female genitalia
    commonly: chao cheebai - smelly female genitalia
lanjiao - [lit.] penis, asshole
kanina - f**k your mother
nabeh - "shit"/"damn"/"f**k"
pukimak - your mother's genitalia 

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